Well, at this point, I have almost another week under my belt. I had my labs repeated on Wednesday and my hcg level was up to 1329 from 110 the week before. I had an ultrasound done Thursday and they saw the sac and estimated that I was a little over 5 weeks. My estimated due date is September 21st!
I've felt pretty good this week, just been exhausted and feel like I could use a nap every day around 2:00. I have an appointment on Thursday to go over all of our health history, and then we will go back between weeks 8-10 for our next ultrasound.
I still can't believe most days that this is really happening. I'm thankful every day that I was able to get pregnant and just taking it one step at a time, but all the while, hoping this time goes fast so I can finally hold the baby I have waited all time time for!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Lazy Weekend
So this weekend I have been doing my best to just be lazy and get lots of rest. I've been reading magazines, watching movies, and lots of sleeping. I am trying to remain positive and hoping that maybe I was just not as far along as originally planned since we really have no idea when I ovulated. I am still having symptoms, so I am taking that as a positive sign. I also have been having cramping the past few days, but I haven't had any bleeding. I told D that it isn't over until I see blood. I forgot to mention earlier that I took another home test when I got home from the doctor on Thursday, and it was still positive. I figure I might take one on Monday to see what results I get because if I am in fact miscarrying, my numbers should be dropping. I am just looking forward to proving the doctor wrong.
I just ask that everyone keeps us in their thoughts and prayers right now, and I will try to be as positive as a pessimistic person can be! :)
One day at a time...
I just ask that everyone keeps us in their thoughts and prayers right now, and I will try to be as positive as a pessimistic person can be! :)
One day at a time...
Thursday-Doctor Day
So this was the day that I had been waiting for. I was ready to get some confirmation about what I already knew. D took half a day off so he could go to the appointment with me. I couldn't get in until 1:00, so I was going to work for a while, go to the appointment, then return to work.
We got to the office about 12:45 because I knew I would have to fill out paperwork. I had been trying to increase my water uptake since I found out I was expecting and I knew I would have to give a urine specimen at the appointment, but I really had to go. It was a little after 1:00 when we finally got called back. The nurse took my weight, and then told me to get a urine specimen for them. I did the specimen the met in the room with D while we waited for the nurse. I heard the timer go off once, and then heard it go off again, but didn't think about it too much.
The nurse came in and asked me when I had my positive tests because both urine tests had come back negative. I was crushed to say the least. I didn't know how this could be. She said that I could wait a little while and see the doctor who would be back in at 2:00 or come back the next day and see the doctor I originally see. I told her I wanted to know what was going on, so I was prepared to wait.
D took me out to get a sandwich since I had been nauseous most of the day, and had only had a few crackers to eat, but had been drinking lots of fluids. We were called back to see the doctor right at 2:00, and this is where things got worse.
As I mentioned, this was not my normal doctor, so she wanted me to give her my "history". I told her that I had been late on my period, and asked why I took a test. Why not? I just did. I then told her that I had PCOS and she asked if Met was the only thing that kept my cycles regular. I told her I wasn't sure as I had been on it for over five years now. She then asked if I was trying to get pregnant. I told her that I had tried and did fertility treatments for five years and nothing worked. At that point she stated that I was having a "chemical pregnancy" or early miscarriage and that my hormone levels had probably peaked at the beginning of the week and were now dropping which caused the negative urine tests. It was like she assumed that because I have PCOS and had not had any success with treatment, that there was no way I could have gotten pregnant on my own.
I asked her what to do at this point, and she stated that I should just wait for my period to start, and if I didn't start within a month, to call back for another appointment for meds to bring on my period. I then told her that I wanted a blood test to check the levels in my blood. She said she would get me one. I asked her when I could have the results and she said the next day. I work at the hospital so I knew that if the test was ordered stat that we could have results in a little over an hour. She said she would order it stat, and the office would call with my results. I chose to go to the hospital for my testing, knowing that it would make for quicker results. I sent D on to do errands, as I was going to try go back to work for the day.
I got to the hospital, and after a call to my SIL, the waterworks finally came on. I tried to compose myself before going in to the hospital, as a lot of these girls were my former co-workers and some of them knew my news. I checked in at the desk and one of the girls saw me, and and asked me how my appointment went. I just started to cry again and she hugged me. I sat down to get checked in, and she went to get another one of my friends to wait with me. I went back for the bloodwork, and decided that there was no way I could stay at work the rest of the day. I have previously called one of the girls I work with and told her that I was going for bloodwork and things weren't going well, so they were somewhat informed on what was going on.
I got back to my office and met my supervisor in the elevator. I told her what had happened and I needed to go home. She offered to go and get my things for me, but I told her it was OK. I walked in, got my things, and just told them I would be back tomorrow. I couldn't talk to any of them because I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know what to say.
From there, I headed towards home and just tried to relax until I heard from the office. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally I called the office and asked for my results. A lady got on the phone and said that my levels were 110 and that was a positive. They wanted me to re-test again in a week. All I could think about was how long a week was going to seem.
I knew it was going to be a long week, but I just tried to take it day by day like I had originally planned.
At this point, I was amazed by the outpouring of support I got from my friends, co-workers, and family. I am truly blessed to have these people in my life. If it wasn't for all of them, I can't imagine what kind of state I would be in. Thank you to each and every one of you for being there for me!
We got to the office about 12:45 because I knew I would have to fill out paperwork. I had been trying to increase my water uptake since I found out I was expecting and I knew I would have to give a urine specimen at the appointment, but I really had to go. It was a little after 1:00 when we finally got called back. The nurse took my weight, and then told me to get a urine specimen for them. I did the specimen the met in the room with D while we waited for the nurse. I heard the timer go off once, and then heard it go off again, but didn't think about it too much.
The nurse came in and asked me when I had my positive tests because both urine tests had come back negative. I was crushed to say the least. I didn't know how this could be. She said that I could wait a little while and see the doctor who would be back in at 2:00 or come back the next day and see the doctor I originally see. I told her I wanted to know what was going on, so I was prepared to wait.
D took me out to get a sandwich since I had been nauseous most of the day, and had only had a few crackers to eat, but had been drinking lots of fluids. We were called back to see the doctor right at 2:00, and this is where things got worse.
As I mentioned, this was not my normal doctor, so she wanted me to give her my "history". I told her that I had been late on my period, and asked why I took a test. Why not? I just did. I then told her that I had PCOS and she asked if Met was the only thing that kept my cycles regular. I told her I wasn't sure as I had been on it for over five years now. She then asked if I was trying to get pregnant. I told her that I had tried and did fertility treatments for five years and nothing worked. At that point she stated that I was having a "chemical pregnancy" or early miscarriage and that my hormone levels had probably peaked at the beginning of the week and were now dropping which caused the negative urine tests. It was like she assumed that because I have PCOS and had not had any success with treatment, that there was no way I could have gotten pregnant on my own.
I asked her what to do at this point, and she stated that I should just wait for my period to start, and if I didn't start within a month, to call back for another appointment for meds to bring on my period. I then told her that I wanted a blood test to check the levels in my blood. She said she would get me one. I asked her when I could have the results and she said the next day. I work at the hospital so I knew that if the test was ordered stat that we could have results in a little over an hour. She said she would order it stat, and the office would call with my results. I chose to go to the hospital for my testing, knowing that it would make for quicker results. I sent D on to do errands, as I was going to try go back to work for the day.
I got to the hospital, and after a call to my SIL, the waterworks finally came on. I tried to compose myself before going in to the hospital, as a lot of these girls were my former co-workers and some of them knew my news. I checked in at the desk and one of the girls saw me, and and asked me how my appointment went. I just started to cry again and she hugged me. I sat down to get checked in, and she went to get another one of my friends to wait with me. I went back for the bloodwork, and decided that there was no way I could stay at work the rest of the day. I have previously called one of the girls I work with and told her that I was going for bloodwork and things weren't going well, so they were somewhat informed on what was going on.
I got back to my office and met my supervisor in the elevator. I told her what had happened and I needed to go home. She offered to go and get my things for me, but I told her it was OK. I walked in, got my things, and just told them I would be back tomorrow. I couldn't talk to any of them because I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know what to say.
From there, I headed towards home and just tried to relax until I heard from the office. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally I called the office and asked for my results. A lady got on the phone and said that my levels were 110 and that was a positive. They wanted me to re-test again in a week. All I could think about was how long a week was going to seem.
I knew it was going to be a long week, but I just tried to take it day by day like I had originally planned.
At this point, I was amazed by the outpouring of support I got from my friends, co-workers, and family. I am truly blessed to have these people in my life. If it wasn't for all of them, I can't imagine what kind of state I would be in. Thank you to each and every one of you for being there for me!
Wednesday
Wednesday was a fairly uneventful day. I had some waves of nausea throughout the day, but nothing too bad. One of the girls I work with brought in some books for me to borrow, which I really appreciated! Wednesday night after work, I stopped to see my brother and his family. My SIL also had lots of great books for me to borrow, and also got me a few very cute gifts
At this point, I was just anxiously awaiting our appointment at the OB's office the next day, and hoping for the best!
Tuesday
So I got up Tuesday morning and took another test to double check my results. Sure enough, still said "pregnant". I was still in total shock. I had an appointment with my family doctor that morning so I figured I would start there.
I got to the appointment and I was shaking because I was still so excited. The nurse was taking my bp (which was the reason for the appointment), and I told her it might be high because I had just found out I was expecting. She took it and said it was actually good at 122/66. The whole office was excited for me, as they knew how long we had been trying for a family. I actually thought at one point my doctor might cry. He went ahead and checked over my medicines, and switched anything that might be a danger and told me to follow up with my OB. I called their office, and was able to get in two days later on Thursday.
Next it was time to start telling close family/friends. I told D that so many people had been my IF journey with me, and I wanted to give them good news for a change. I know that many may think it is too early to be sharing, but these people have been through all the ups and downs with me and they have all supported me and loved me regardless of what the outcome.
The most sensitive part of all of this was sharing my news with my friends who have also fought IF. I NEVER in a million years expected to be the one telling them I was pregnant. I wanted them to hear it from me, and not by world of mouth. I knew exactly what it felt like to have someone tell you that they were expecting, when you had tried so hard yourself to become pregnant. I didn't want to hurt anyone, if anything I wanted to give them hope. Everyone was has been amazingly supportive, but I could tell that it tugged on the heart strings of a few, and that was really hard for me.
At this point we decided that we would take things one day at a time, and hope for the best!
I got to the appointment and I was shaking because I was still so excited. The nurse was taking my bp (which was the reason for the appointment), and I told her it might be high because I had just found out I was expecting. She took it and said it was actually good at 122/66. The whole office was excited for me, as they knew how long we had been trying for a family. I actually thought at one point my doctor might cry. He went ahead and checked over my medicines, and switched anything that might be a danger and told me to follow up with my OB. I called their office, and was able to get in two days later on Thursday.
Next it was time to start telling close family/friends. I told D that so many people had been my IF journey with me, and I wanted to give them good news for a change. I know that many may think it is too early to be sharing, but these people have been through all the ups and downs with me and they have all supported me and loved me regardless of what the outcome.
The most sensitive part of all of this was sharing my news with my friends who have also fought IF. I NEVER in a million years expected to be the one telling them I was pregnant. I wanted them to hear it from me, and not by world of mouth. I knew exactly what it felt like to have someone tell you that they were expecting, when you had tried so hard yourself to become pregnant. I didn't want to hurt anyone, if anything I wanted to give them hope. Everyone was has been amazingly supportive, but I could tell that it tugged on the heart strings of a few, and that was really hard for me.
At this point we decided that we would take things one day at a time, and hope for the best!
Sneaky
So I over the weekend I had realized that I was a little late getting my period, which isn't uncommon for me. I had mentioned something to D about taking a test because it usually is negative, and I start the next day. D told me not to take a test because if it was negative I would be bummed out, so I didn't do it...that day.
Monday evening D had a meeting, and I was cleaning house. I still hadn't started and I knew I had a couple tests in the drawer. I figured I would take the test, then I could take the trash out before he got home from the meeting. I did the test, then went on about doing other stuff around the house. I came back a while later to take out the trash and this is what I saw...
I was home by myself, and I started to freak out. I was shaking, I've never had a positive pregnancy test in my life. I called D to see when he was going to be home, and he stated that he was on his way. He asked what was wrong because he could tell my the tone of my voice. I stated that I had taken a test, he said "OK", I said, "It says pregnant" on it. D then said "Don't mess with me woman!". I asked him why I would joke about that. He said that he would be home shortly to see the results. I was concerned because the test had expired 11/2010 and didn't know if it could really affect the results or not. D went to Wally World for me and got more tests because I had planned to retest in the morning. All night I kept having dreams that I took another test and it said "not pregnant", needless to say, I didn't get much sleep that night.
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