Family Gatherings.....doesn't that say it all??

So we are shifting focus a little bit here on this blog, it's not about ttc or weight loss; we are talking about families this time. We had a cookout at our house yesterday for Memorial Day/Grandpa's birthday. David and I have been putting tons of work into the house partly for the party, but mainly just making things the way that we want them at the new house. Needless to say that after all the work that we had done, I was really looking forward to spending the day with the family. It was supposed to start around noon, and by a little after three everyone had left because they were tired, upset, or just had other places to go. It was just a disappointment when we had put all the hard work into it and didn't really get time to enjoy the time.

I guess as time goes on, I just feel more and more disappointed by my family. The people that I used to be the closest with are the people that are the most distant to me now, and the people that I didn't think I would ever be able to get used to and accept as my family are the ones that I am closest to and are my best friends that I can talk to about anything.

The older I get, the more I realize that I have my own family now, and my own life and that maybe it is time to do things a little differently. I have always tried to do what makes everyone else happy, but lets face it, it makes ME miserable.

There are the people in my life that I thought I really needed and they have pretty much shown me that they don' t need me at all, so maybe it is time for me to spread my wings a little more. The people that I really do need, and that need me, are the ones that are here for me after all, and that is what matters.

Hope everyone has a good week, thank God it is almost Wednesday already!

Not an Easy Day

So here I sit on Mother's Day again with empty arms. Every year I think, maybe next year, but it just has not been meant to be yet I guess. I had been doing exceptionally well until the last couple of days, when patient's at work started wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. I know they don't know that I am dealing with infertility and I did not correct them, I just thanked them and tried to go on about my day.

Yesterday we went out to get flowers for the yard and there were tons of kids out with their dads shopping for flowers for their moms. I went to Hallmark Friday night to get cards for our mom's and it also was a very real reminder of how much infertility hurts! There are commercials on tv, articles in the paper, signs at the flower shops, it seems right now anywhere I go, it is a constant reminder of what I don't have.

I appreciate those of you that have sent me messages and are keeping me in your thoughts, and for those of you that are going through the same thing too, you are in my prayers today also.

So now I need to get on with rest of my day and go and visit with our mother's and try to focus on them and not my heartache.

Half way there!

One month down and 8.5 pounds left to my first goal of 20 pounds! I had a rough week last week, but I know why now since I got my cycle on my own this month without having to take the "evil drug" Woohoo!

I am ready to have a better week this week because I KNOW I can do this! Thanks for all the support that you all are sending, it means more than you know! Hope everyone has a great week! I will try to make a better effort to update my blog!