So here it is, New Year's Eve again. Everyone is talking about resolutions and hoping that the next year will be better than the last. I can honestly say that I am one of those people this year. Every year I make resolutions, and usually by the end of January I have broken them.
This year I started early. As most people now I am on this journey that many of us call weight loss. For the most part, 2009 was a very successful year for me for losing weight. I weigh about 60 pounds less than I did last year at this time, and I do feel a lot better, but it's just not enough. I have slipped, fallen off the wagon, whatever you would like to call it, but I definitely have not quit! Far to many times I have been the quitter, and it is like people just wait to see how long I will last. This time, I am proving them wrong, I AM going to do this! I knew that I had screwed up with my plan during the holidays, and I didn't really find that it was necessary for me to wait until January 1st to make things right again. I tried to start over again on Monday, but it didn't come as easily as it had in the past, but I am proud to say that as of yesterday, I am 100% back on plan. I know, big whoop, almost 2 whole days, but I have to celebrate the small victories!
Everyone says that they don't have my kind of motivation, that it is just too hard; but I used to be one of those people too. I sometimes wonder what changed, how did I become the person that is the fighter, and the one that wants others to be successful with their weight loss too?? It is my desire to be a mother that keeps me focused, keeps me driven, keeps me fighting this battle every single second of the day to be a healthier person.
I hope everyone has a wonderful 2010 and that you push yourself a little harder to achieve the goals that you want for yourself!! You can do it and you are worth it!
~Trisha
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Holidays
Well I have to say that while I enjoy seeing the family during the holidays, I am glad they are over! It was just too busy and stressful this year and I didn't do so well with the weight loss liked I had planned, I am up a few pounds this month versus having a loss other months. I said it was back to business today, then I got one heck of a headache. At least I exercised for an hour and got in about 80 oz of water. I have to start again somewhere! I am just trying to remind myself that I am still down 60 pounds from last Christmas.
If anyone has any encouraging words right now, they would be helpful! :) Hope everyone had a good Christmas and has a wonderful 2010!
~Trisha
If anyone has any encouraging words right now, they would be helpful! :) Hope everyone had a good Christmas and has a wonderful 2010!
~Trisha
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Grrrrrrr
So I know I have really sucked at this blog thing lately. I just don't know what to write some days. I have managed to lose 65 pounds now, but I just feel stuck. Stuck with the diet and stuck with life. I just don't feel like I am going anywhere and I am in a funk!
I feel myself trying to give up some days, and the reality of it is, I don't want to. I don't want to be a quitter again. I don't want my family and friends to look at me and see someone who failed at something else. I want to make this work, I want to succeed, I want to get at my goal, but darn it, some days it is just SO HARD!!!!
(Example) Today was the holiday dinner that we have at work every year. To my understanding, it is the only thing that we will be getting this year for Christmas versus years past. Everyone takes time out of their day and goes and has a nice lunch and get to just visit with people for a few hours. Not me! I got to stay in an office by myself and listen to Christmas music and feel frustrated and lonely while they were gone. Maybe I am just whining and being a baby, but it was really hard! I wanted to go to lunch with them. I wanted to go and visit and just get away from my desk for a while, but I know that I can't. I can't go to things like that if I am going to be successful at this.
The holidays are so hard this year. They are hard because I am from a broken family now and I have to race around like and idiot to see everyone that I should. They are hard because I still miss Brandon like crazy even though it has been almost 10 years since we said goodbye to him. They are hard because I still do not have a little family of my own that I so desperately long for, and most of all it is hard because I can not eat the food that makes me numb and masks all of the hurt that I feel through the holidays. I actually have to deal with all of this for the first time that I can remember. Food was my comfort, it was what made me feel better. I just want something to make me feel better again!
People try to offer support, but most of them really have no idea how hard this is, and the thing is it isn't over when I get to my goal. I will have to fight for this the rest of my life! I will have to work to not go back to the person I was 65 pounds ago! I know 65 pounds is a great accomplishment, and I think it is the most that I have ever lost. It is just hard to look at that number and not see how far I still have to go.
Ok, I think I got it all off my chest now along with getting out a good cry. Time to head to bed and do this again tomorrow!
~Trisha
I feel myself trying to give up some days, and the reality of it is, I don't want to. I don't want to be a quitter again. I don't want my family and friends to look at me and see someone who failed at something else. I want to make this work, I want to succeed, I want to get at my goal, but darn it, some days it is just SO HARD!!!!
(Example) Today was the holiday dinner that we have at work every year. To my understanding, it is the only thing that we will be getting this year for Christmas versus years past. Everyone takes time out of their day and goes and has a nice lunch and get to just visit with people for a few hours. Not me! I got to stay in an office by myself and listen to Christmas music and feel frustrated and lonely while they were gone. Maybe I am just whining and being a baby, but it was really hard! I wanted to go to lunch with them. I wanted to go and visit and just get away from my desk for a while, but I know that I can't. I can't go to things like that if I am going to be successful at this.
The holidays are so hard this year. They are hard because I am from a broken family now and I have to race around like and idiot to see everyone that I should. They are hard because I still miss Brandon like crazy even though it has been almost 10 years since we said goodbye to him. They are hard because I still do not have a little family of my own that I so desperately long for, and most of all it is hard because I can not eat the food that makes me numb and masks all of the hurt that I feel through the holidays. I actually have to deal with all of this for the first time that I can remember. Food was my comfort, it was what made me feel better. I just want something to make me feel better again!
People try to offer support, but most of them really have no idea how hard this is, and the thing is it isn't over when I get to my goal. I will have to fight for this the rest of my life! I will have to work to not go back to the person I was 65 pounds ago! I know 65 pounds is a great accomplishment, and I think it is the most that I have ever lost. It is just hard to look at that number and not see how far I still have to go.
Ok, I think I got it all off my chest now along with getting out a good cry. Time to head to bed and do this again tomorrow!
~Trisha
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