My Two Favorite Guys

So I snapped this picture Saturday afternoon when we were watching Eli for Brian & Katie. I couldn't resist! They both just look so peaceful. David loves Eli so much, he will make a great dad someday! I just hope it is sooner, rather than later! Hope everyone has a good Easter!

Mixed Emotions

So, I went to lunch with one of my friends on Saturday. It was nice because I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I filled her in on the new happenings with us and how things had been going, and let her know about the new doctor that we would be going to. She stayed positive for us and said that she knew that things were going to happen for us soon. She then went on to say "I guess I should let you know now that I am going to have a baby!" I am very excited for her and knew that she and here husband were going to start trying. I asked her when her baby was due and she said that she was already 16 weeks along and due in August. She said she knew when she saw me at Christmas...The thing is I am excited for my friends when I find out that they are going to have babies, but this is the second time that someone has gone half way through their pregnancy before telling me. They use the excuse that they know that we have been trying and didn't want to upset me. It bothers me that people don't think that I can be happy for them. Just because I haven't been able to have a baby of my own yet does not mean that I can't celebrate with my friends! It really hurts that people feel this way and don't think that I can share their happieness with them. Ok, rant over...I just needed to get it off my chest.

To all my friends...please don't keep me in the dark, we are friends for a reason, to stick with each other through the good times and bad. If you don't think that I could be happy for you, then what kind of friend would I really be?

Paperwork....

Well I received all of my paperwork the other day from the new doctor in Cincinnati. I also got my releases in the mail from the old doctor's at Kettering. Man I had alot of paperwork to fill out!! David got to help this time, he had a set of paperwork that he had to fill out himself. Some of the questions we were just looking at each other like "what the heck?". They also gave us an option to be tested to see if either one of us are carriers for cystic fibrosis. We opted not to because of the cost ($300), and the fact that the insurance would not cover any of the test. So this step is done, I just need to get the records sent from Kettering to Cincinnati.

Til next time....

Ultrasound Results

So I talked to Noreen at Dr. L's office last night, and she said after looking at my ultrasound, that things looked normal for someone that has PCOS. I could see the cysts on the screen when I was having it done, so I knew that there were some in there, but they said that it was nothing to be concerned about. The problems I was having last week were pretty much just due to the fact that I was given to high of a dosage of medicine. Dr. L also recommended that I move on to the next step. I asked if that meant to the injectible drugs and she said no, he meant to the next doctor. So after contemplating for the past couple days about whether I made the right decision or not to go to Cincinnati, I have some reassurance that I am doing the right thing. I let them know that I had already scheduled an appointment with the new doctors, and they just asked that I keep them posted as to what is going on.

So now on the next chapter, which entails filling out lots of paperwork for the new doctor and getting releases signed to send my old records to the new doctor. So that is all I have for now, but I will keep you all posted.

Kids.....

So we went to a birthday party today for my friend's daughter....it's hard to believe that she is three years old already! I remember after she was born how she was so little and vulnerable, now she is a little ball of fire! It was nice to be around all the kids again, but at the same time as I was sitting there holding the baby, who is three months old, my mind started to wonder about all the what if's...what if I never have a little baby of my own to hold like this, what if I never get to have birthday parties for my kids, what if I never get to sing happy birthday to my babies??

I am trying sooooo hard to be patient and to wait for what is "meant to be", but days like today, I just want so badly to have a little baby of my own to love and hold.

A New Beginning

So....after two years on our "journey" let's call it, we are starting over again. After a year of dealing with the doctor's in Kettering, I'm just not feeling like it is where I am supposed to be anymore. The doctor that we were seeing, left at the beginning of the year, and they have yet to replace him. That would be ok with me but the same doctor that did an insemination for me back in November and told me that "he would say a little prayer for me", now seems to have lost the love for his job and is worn down and tired from trying to see all the patient's himself.

Part of me is scared to move on.... The new doctor is in Cincinnatti, and I thought the drive to Kettering was bad! I am leery about making 80 mile trips one way, but just have a feeling that this is where I was meant to end up. The website says that they are "One of America's largest and most experienced infertility clinics".Here is the website if you want to check it out! http://www.cincinnatifertility.com/

The other part of me knows this will be a good move, I just worry whenever there is any kind of change in my life because you know there will be uncertainties....I guess that is what life is all about. I am trying my best to be patient, but sometimes it is just so gosh darn hard! I just wished all my life to me someone's mommy. Here is hoping that the next step will be a good one, and it will put us a little bit closer to "our miracle"