Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Weeks 15 & 16

So needless to say, I'm not keeping up with  my blog as much as I had hoped.  I'm now 16 weeks along and it is hard to believe that in just a few short weeks, my pregnancy will be  half way over.  In the beginning, I just wanted time to go fast so that I could feel like I was out of the "danger zone".  Now, I am trying to slow down and enjoy it, as I should have been in the first place.

I have felt the baby move a few times, but it is almost a little weird. :)  I've heard people describe the feeling as a goldfish swimming around inside of you, or popcorn popping, which are both very good descriptions.  It isn't like I imagined it will feel, but I know that the feeling will change as the baby grows.

People have asked if I am craving anything.  My most recent cravings have been root beer, orange pop, milk, and fruit snacks or gummy bears.  I haven't really had anything lately that turned my stomach, or that I just couldn't eat which is a definite improvement from my first trimester!

Emotionally, in the first trimester I just felt crabby all the time. I felt like I had PMS times 10!  That seems to have calmed down some, but now we are adding in a bit of the sappy side of things.  A few weeks ago, D and I watched a movie and I cried through most of the movie.  I had to just keep telling him that I was alright and kept crying.  Also, last weekend I watched Tiny & Cupcake who had both been a little under the weather.  Initially, things seemed to be going well, but things quickly took a turn for the worse.  Cupcake woke up crying and tugging at her ear.  I tried to get her back to sleep for a while, but never had any success.  She continued to cry on and off, and I have to say that I felt powerless at the least.  I didn't feel like I could do anything to make her feel better.  I suddenly realized that I knew how to be a teacher, a babysitter, and aunt, etc, but I don't know how to be a mom.  Needless to say, Cupcake wasn't the only one crying by the time it was all said and done.  I think it just really opened up some of my own insecurties about being a parent and being afraid of doing something wrong.  I know that there is no such thing as being the perfect parent and I just have to try to do the best I can.

Finally in the past few weeks, I have learned that by being pregnant people feel an opportunity to share advice with me about all kinds of things, whether I would like it or not. :)  D & I are going to have our big ultrasound here in a few weeks and we will be able to tell the sex of the baby if it cooperates.  Many people tell me that we should just wait and let it be a surprise.  Also, I've gotten opinions about whether people are for or against things such as cloth diapers, breastfeeding, etc.  A wise woman told me that I just need to remember that this is my pregnancy, not theirs and just say what I think will work best for us. :)

All in all, some days I still can't believe this is real.  I just thought for so long that it would never happen.  I thank my lucky stars every day for this baby that is growing inside of me and am amazed at how much love I have for something that is currently the size of an advocado. :)

Til next time!

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