So needless to say, I'm not keeping up with my blog as much as I had hoped. I'm now 16 weeks along and it is hard to believe that in just a few short weeks, my pregnancy will be half way over. In the beginning, I just wanted time to go fast so that I could feel like I was out of the "danger zone". Now, I am trying to slow down and enjoy it, as I should have been in the first place.
I have felt the baby move a few times, but it is almost a little weird. :) I've heard people describe the feeling as a goldfish swimming around inside of you, or popcorn popping, which are both very good descriptions. It isn't like I imagined it will feel, but I know that the feeling will change as the baby grows.
People have asked if I am craving anything. My most recent cravings have been root beer, orange pop, milk, and fruit snacks or gummy bears. I haven't really had anything lately that turned my stomach, or that I just couldn't eat which is a definite improvement from my first trimester!
Emotionally, in the first trimester I just felt crabby all the time. I felt like I had PMS times 10! That seems to have calmed down some, but now we are adding in a bit of the sappy side of things. A few weeks ago, D and I watched a movie and I cried through most of the movie. I had to just keep telling him that I was alright and kept crying. Also, last weekend I watched Tiny & Cupcake who had both been a little under the weather. Initially, things seemed to be going well, but things quickly took a turn for the worse. Cupcake woke up crying and tugging at her ear. I tried to get her back to sleep for a while, but never had any success. She continued to cry on and off, and I have to say that I felt powerless at the least. I didn't feel like I could do anything to make her feel better. I suddenly realized that I knew how to be a teacher, a babysitter, and aunt, etc, but I don't know how to be a mom. Needless to say, Cupcake wasn't the only one crying by the time it was all said and done. I think it just really opened up some of my own insecurties about being a parent and being afraid of doing something wrong. I know that there is no such thing as being the perfect parent and I just have to try to do the best I can.
Finally in the past few weeks, I have learned that by being pregnant people feel an opportunity to share advice with me about all kinds of things, whether I would like it or not. :) D & I are going to have our big ultrasound here in a few weeks and we will be able to tell the sex of the baby if it cooperates. Many people tell me that we should just wait and let it be a surprise. Also, I've gotten opinions about whether people are for or against things such as cloth diapers, breastfeeding, etc. A wise woman told me that I just need to remember that this is my pregnancy, not theirs and just say what I think will work best for us. :)
All in all, some days I still can't believe this is real. I just thought for so long that it would never happen. I thank my lucky stars every day for this baby that is growing inside of me and am amazed at how much love I have for something that is currently the size of an advocado. :)
Til next time!
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