I have put off writing this entry for a few weeks now for fear that I would disappoint some of you. You see, I have always been one of those people who cared more about what other people thought more than what my own opinion was and it is time for that to change.
I have been on my diet plan, lifestyle change, whatever you prefer to call it since June. Now while I have been very successful at it (lost about 75 pounds) it has been a fight the whole time for me. Part of what they do on this plan is to remove any and all real food and use 100% meal replacements. This was not an easy transition for me as everywhere I seem to go, there is someone eating around me. I gave it my best shot, but the last couple of months, realistically since the holidays, I have not been able to stay 100% on the plan. I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds since December and it was really getting me down in the dumps. I know that 75 pounds is a great loss, and I am in a heck of a lot better shape than I was last year at this time, but it's still not what my goal was for myself. Since I did not hit the goal I had set for myself, I felt like I had failed even though I had been successful. I mentally fought with myself for a few weeks trying to decide if I could still continue to lose weight on my own by eating right, exercising, etc. One days I was literally in tears because I was terrified that I will gain all of the weight back or not be able to lose anymore.
I have worked so hard to get to this point, but I'm not ready to give up. I got out all of my old Weight Watchers materials that I had before our wedding and started that plan again. Last week was the first week that I did the plan, and to be honest I wans't expecting to lose anything since I was transitioning back to food. I lost 4 pounds! This is week two, so we will see how that goes, but I feel a lot better, and I don't feel like I am struggling as badly anymore. I am trying fruits and vegetables I've never had before, I'm taking classes at the Y 4 nights a week, and I am just trying to be more positive in general about what I think I can accomplish.
I will continue every day to try my best to make myself and all of you proud! Thank you for all of your support!
1 comment:
Trisha I'm proud of you! You've done what I've never been able to! You're an example I wish I could follow - I hope to follow. I understand basing your self image on others' views of you. I do it too much, no matter what kind of game I talk. So if you must see yourself as others see you, see yourself through my eyes: a successful woman who has done well for herself. You've lost 75 lbs which is insanely hard! You've made healthy decisions for yourself mentally and physically. And you've done it all while maintaining a marriage and being a pet mom! That's simply amazing! Truly. Hang in there girl!
P.S. For what it's worth, I know my parents are proud of you too, though god forbid they (or any of the Elliotts, because that's they way we are) tell you that to your face or let their feelings be known.
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